There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
