i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Someone shattered a urinal.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
