bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the raccoons are back...
Randomize