I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i believe in u and ur pee
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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