She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
