Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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