Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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