You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she pinky promised me she was 18
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
