Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
