Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize