oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
