Dual....:-)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
