So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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