I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
