i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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