My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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