im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
