I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
