im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
