Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
