the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
