Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
do nipples grow back?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
