nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
