i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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