if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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