why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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