): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
