i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
