Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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