no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
