on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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