Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
