Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
