that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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