allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize