I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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