it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we're making bets on your personal life
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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