is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
