put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize