I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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