ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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