yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
