Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
