He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
