NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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