Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
