We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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