tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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