nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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