he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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