i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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