I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize