I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
