She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
