when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize