one might say we're banned from that church
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
