so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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