I want to stick my p in your. b.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
we should paint friendship bongs
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