its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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