Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think my fart just growled at me.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
