If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
