Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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