did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
