Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize