I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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