so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
