dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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